I decided to be off to a movie yesterday afternoon and settled on Whip It. Whip It is Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut about roller derby in Texas. It’s got Juno, Kristin Wiig, Jimmy Fallon, Barrymore, and a slew of other people but when I was watching it I could only keep one thought in my mind. Why I hate movies sometimes.
In the movie Juno plays a 17 year old girl. Still. Wasn’t she 17 last time? Anyways, she’s kind of in a rut of life in Small Town Texas, hates it, etc. She stumbled upon roller derby somehow and it shapes her as a person and she literally falls in love with it. It’s what she wants to do with her life. Walking out of the theater I could only wonder why I never found that thing. That one thing that makes it all make sense and gets me excited to pursue it in some shape or form forever. I’ll be 28 next month…I’m five (nearly six) years removed from college and I still don’t know what “it” is for me. I don’t know that thing I want to do that will make it all make sense.
And I don’t know that people actually find it. Maybe it’s just one of those ‘movie things’ that doesn’t necessarily happen in the world. In general, I mean. I know it happens to people now and then. Hell, my little brother has seemingly found it. He’s 19. However he knows exactly what he loves and he’s pursuing it. Sure, that think is driving a school bus but good for him! It’s exactly what he wants and exactly what he’s into. I just want that moment when I realize the thing I want out of life, because i honestly don’t know. I figured uprooting and moving would give me that, but it’s kind of the same old song and dance. Just working and living. Nothing’s really changed other than it’s colder and my family is further away.
I know this move was motivated by a lack of work but I was really hoping something would ‘pop’ and so far, nothing. It’s just another place to live and work. Yeah, I’m whining for no reason I guess. I am working, after all, and I do have a place to live. But is being passionate about something, anything, too much to ask for?
Probably.
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